Journal

Honest, practical writing for anyone caring for an ageing parent from a distance — on knowing how they really are, weighing the options in between, and the conversations and small arrangements that make it easier.

Knowing how they really are

• How do you know if an elderly parent living alone is coping?

  "Fine" can mean three different things. How to read what a parent living alone is really telling you.

• The signs an ageing parent won't tell you about

  The hardest signs to spot are the ones being lovingly hidden — and how to make honesty feel safe.

• How often should you call an elderly parent?

  There's no magic number. Why a dependable rhythm matters more than frequency.

• The quiet guilt of living far from an ageing parent

  The low, steady guilt of caring from a distance — and why it's made of love, not failure.

Weighing the options

• Alternatives to a care home for a parent who lives alone

  Between struggling on alone and a care home sits a long ladder of options. What's on it, and how it's paid for.

• How to check on an elderly parent who lives far away

  An honest tour of every way to check on a parent from afar — and where each one falls short.

• Why elderly parents won't use the apps and gadgets you buy them

  Why the tablet ends up in the drawer — and the one interface that never does.

• Befriending calls vs wellbeing check-ins: what's the difference?

  Two similar-sounding services, two different problems. Which one you actually need.

Practical guides

• A checklist for supporting an ageing parent from another city

  A practical, finishable checklist for caring from another city.

• What to do when a parent refuses help

  A parent's refusal is rarely about the help. The moves that hand control back so it can get through.

• Conversations to have with ageing parents before you need to

  The talks everyone puts off — and how to have them well, early.